Peer Conflict Resolutions
As children grow you will notice their need for independence. How can we help them by
empowering them to handle conflict? Many have been there when your child comes home and
tells you that another child was mean to them or called them a name. One way you can help
foster independence and empower them is to give them the tools they need. What are those
tools and how can we teach our children to use them well? If your preschooler comes home
and tells you that a friend told them they couldn’t play with them, what can you say to
help them manage that situation and learn to handle peer conflict?
First, let your child know you understand that they are hurt; acknowledging their
feelings is an important first step. Allow them to tell you how it made them feel and then
begin to talk about what they could do next time something like that happens. For example,
you can encourage them to tell their friend that it isn’t nice to tell someone they can’t play
and that being kind is better. Also, tell your child they can go and find another friend to pay
with instead. Helping your child understand that they can be empowered and that they
don’t have to let others control how they feel can be important to their overall growth.
Teaching effective communication skills and being a positive role model are all part of
helping your children be successful. Helping your child manage and understand their own
emotions is essential. Talk with them about how they feel or how they felt about a
situation they experienced, whether it was at home or school. Role playing with your child
about something that happened helps them to process the situation. For example, if your
child comes home and tells you that a friend used “hurtful hands”, using role play to help
them know how and when to get the teacher for help. It is important that your child
knows how and when to seek help for a conflict. When a child has the tools, they need, they
feel empowered and are better able to handle things that come their way. Staying honest
and open with your child(ren) is important while providing them a safe space to express
their feelings and adding to their overall emotional health. Sometimes situations require
parental involvement, and you would need to contact the teacher to help your child resolve
the problem.
A positive experience can bring out the best in your child. Teaching them to manage
difficult tasks or emotions can help build their self-confidence. Coming alongside your child as
they work through a problem helps them to learn to work things out without always
asking you to solve things for them. As parents, we can feel the instant need to solve the
problem or jump right in to make it better. There are times when this is necessary but try
giving your little one a chance to work at a problem on their own. When we give our children
encouragement and guidance, they gain confidence. Raising a child that is confident and well
prepared to handle conflict, emotions, and everyday situations is ultimately the goal.
Try to prepare your child for situations they may face. Using books to start a
discussion is a great way to help them understand and be prepared. Role paly with your
child. Most importantly be there for them to listen and support them as they grow and
learn to manage life’s many challenges. Practicing these steps will give you a happier and
healthier child!